I’ve been writing Owen’s story. It has been slow-going because there’s grief to process with each paragraph. Some day I will post the whole thing, but until then, I’d like to share my beautiful boy with the world. Our pictures of Owen outnumber the minutes of his life, so there’s plenty to share.
My sweet, handsome, amazing son
He was never alone, even in the anxiety-filled moments right after his birth.
Dr. Khurana, Owen’s neonatologist, was emphatic that Owen breathed easier when Zach was with him right after delivery. When Zach held his hand, Owen’s oxygen saturation went up, and he responded better to interventions. The first time I said Owen’s name, he opened his eyes and looked straight at me. He had the most beautiful brown eyes. For months before Owen was born, I slept with a small blanket. My intention was that if Owen had to leave me, he would have the blanket with my smell for comfort. Zach put it right next to his head when they went to the NICU. When I first arrived in the NICU, I called out to Owen. He let out a little cry and snuggled his little face into his mama blanket. When Zach and I talked to him, he was so much more restful and content. He knew us. It was wonderful.
When we knew that Owen would soon be leaving us, we dressed him in his train jammies and settled him onto my chest. We read a bedtime book, sang Happy Birthday, and thanked him so much for being with us. We told him how proud we were of him for fighting so hard and how glad we were to be his mama and daddy.
We loved him, loved him, loved him.
We love him.
That was Owen’s life: beautiful and love-filled, however short.
He was a tenacious little baby. He put the whole force of his body behind his cries. He joined our family with a wail and cuddled fiercly. Then, when he was ready to go, he left us with so much peace. I hope, one day far in the future, to meet death with the same grace my son did. I hope my life will be as full of love as his was.
Our beautiful Owen Jude.
pleromama 
i love him already. i love how alert he is- its like I caan almost feel his personality through that first photo!
Thank you! I love that first photo; it’s one of my favorites. I was so happy he opened his eyes and interacted, so happy he seemed to know us and be comforted by our voices and touch.
I wasn’t blogging when you posted about your Mabel, but I do want to say she was such a precious, beautiful little girl! I just love her! Your posts with her made me feel so much stronger going into my own birth. Even though you were (and are) grieving, it was obvious that you love Mabel so much and were so happy to have had time with her. I read your posts and thought “Okay, this is what it might be like. I can prepare for this. I can do this.” And then I did it. So even though it’s quite past due, I want to thank you and Mabel for that. Thank you for helping me meet my Owen with strength and peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss. What beautiful photos of you beautiful son. I lost my son, Hugo, in March at the age of 35 days. He was 16 weeks premature, and succumbed to chronic lung disease. Hugo fought so hard, but let us know when he’d had enough, meaning he died peacefully in his favourite place, cuddled in to my chest xxxx
Thank you! I am so sorry for your loss as well. Hugo was a beautiful little boy. I love his name! We felt the same way about Owen, that he made it very clear when it was his time to go.
Dear Liz, I shared this post with Vince, Ginny and the Grandparents Alig last night. They were all very moved and agree that Owen is beautiful. Grandmommy expressed that he is very meaningful to all of us. We shared stories about how his life has touched ours. Thank you for once again granting us the opportunity to enter into this love story. I’m praying for you as your feet hit the ground each day and you walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I want you to know that I care about you. Tons of love!
I am so glad they got to see pictures of him! Happy that his memory is making it all the way across the country.
Oh, Liz. He was so beautiful! It is easy to see the love the three of you have for each other in those pictures.
The fact that you guys clearly planned out things you wanted to do during your short time with Owen is one of the biggest acts of love I’ve ever heard of. I cannot imagine what it is like to plan for the possibility of that situation. The fact that you guys did it with so much intention and thought shows how much you love him, and what wonderful parents you are.
What a beautiful boy!!! Thank you for sharing him. 🙂
My heart breaks for you. Owen is a beautiful little fighter.